Advantages Of Smoking

[Hunter]

 

 

You will always have something to do with your hands.

To avoid headaches later in the day, always have a cigarette first thing in the morning.

If you work with explosives, you have a handy method of lighting the fuse.

Smoking is a good career move if you want early retirement and would like to use up your sick leave.

On New Years Eve you don't have to go out to the fireworks. Just dip your cigarette into a jar of ground up sparklers.

Amuse your friends and be the life of the party by blowing smoke rings.

Always discard your butts in flower pots and garden beds as it helps fertilise the plants and keeps insects away.

Occasional house fires will help keep firemen employed.

By buying cigarettes from corner stores, you help support local businesses and help retain the fabric of our society.

At the beach, children can use the butts to decorate their sand castles.

Annoy neighbours you don't like by staying home and smoking heavily.

You will always have a good reason for loitering - "Officer, I'm just having a cigarette".

Always smoke when you are pregnant. Your smoking helps the unborn baby prepare for the air pollution in the real world.

When your neighbour's kids are too noisy, trigger their asthma by breathing smoke on them.

By smoking heavily, you get out of boring work and will have plenty of short breaks during the day.

Develop your cool image and fun-loving personality by being a smoker. Non smoking is for wimps and wusses.

You will have a good reason to paint the ceilings every three years.

Why celebrate world no-tobacco day once a year, when every day can be celebrated as a pro-tobacco day.

You will know when it's time to throw out your old lounge suite by the number of burn marks.

Smoking is an adult custom. Add years to how old you look by smoking heavily.

If you run out of smokes late at night, help the taxi industry by getting them to deliver your smokes to the door.

You can demand more services and benefits from the government because you have paid more in taxes.

Help keep the bush fire brigades trained and ready for any emergency by throwing lighted butts from your car window.

Keep your weight down by smoking cigarettes instead of eating them.

 

 

 

[Guest Guest]

55 Reasons to Quit Smoking...

 

I'll have fewer wrinkles, especially around my mouth.

If I do not start smoking, I'll save enough money in one year ($900) to buy all the CD's or jeans I want!

My breath will smell better than my dog's.

I'll be around to spoil my grandchildren.

At restaurants I will not have to go outside for a smoke while my friends talk about me!

My parents and doctor will stop preaching to me about not smoking.

I'll live longer and be less likely to develop emphysema, heart disease, stroke and cancer.

I want to keep my edge and not feel or smell like an outcast in public.

I won't have to worry about how smoking is ruining my health.

I won't have to hide my habit from my parents.

None of the really "cool" rock stars I know smoke!

My fingers won't get frost bitten when I go outside in cold weather.

I'll be able to exercise without gasping and do better in sports. I'll be able to run faster than my teammates and opponents.

I'll cough less.

I'll be able to taste and smell food.

I will have fewer ear and respiratory infections.

My lipstick won't smudge.

I won't have to wonder if my date is bothered by cigarette smoke.

My teeth will be whiter.

I won't waste time looking for a smoking area everywhere I go.

I'll stop wheezing.

My date will not say that kissing me is like kissing an ashtray.

(For women) My baby will be at lower risk for sudden infant death syndrome and lower birth weight. I will also save my unborn child from nicotine withdrawal.

(For men) I will not have to worry poor sexual performance (impotence) when I get older.

My fingers and fingernails won't turn brown.

It's one less thing to carry around.

I will not be burning holes in my favorite clothes.

My car and bedroom won't reek.

I won't need to look forward to receiving oxygen through a nasal tube.

I'll have more energy.

I'll save money on dry cleaning.

I'll have friends (since the vast majority of adults do not smoke).

I will not allow anything (nicotine) to control my life.

I'll want to be a good role model for my brothers and sisters.

I will be in the majority! Smoking isn't "in."

I will have better job opportunities.

I will show my friends that I have the guts to say "no" to something that is not good for me.

I will not become one of the adults who dies every 13 seconds from a smoking-related disease.

I will show the tobacco companies that they cannot fool me into smoking by their slick advertising or clever promotions.

I do not want to become one of the young smokers who replaces an adult smoker dying of cancer.

I'll have fewer pimples.

I would not put bad gas in my car, so why should I put formaldehyde (the same stuff used to preserve frogs), cyanide (the same poison that kills rats), nicotine (an insecticide found in bug killer) and 4,000 other bad chemicals into my body with each cigarette?

Not smoking is cool. Being cool is really about making your own choices, being true to yourself, and not listening to what some of your friends (or TV, movies and magazines) tell you to do.

Why would want to cut eight minutes off my life for every cigarette I smoke?

Why would I want to be the sucker that the tobacco companies got to replace the adult smoke who died from tobacco-related disease?

Adult smokers come from teen smokers who can't quit. Ninety-five percent of smokers started when they were kids. So why should I start? It's really only for kids!

I won't have to worry about being asked to show identification with my age.

My allowance will last longer.

Other people will stop looking at me like I'm stupid.

I will have one less bad habit.

I will have one less New Year's resolution.

I will prove to my parents that I am capable of making good decisions.

I will not have to hide in a bathroom to sneak that "needed puff."

I will not have to carry around mints to hide the smell of my breath.

I will be on the road to developing into a healthy human being who will be a good role model for others.