Guest Reporter Posted March 22, 2008 Report Share Posted March 22, 2008 This just in--- According to the scanner reports it has been discovered that there is a wild monkey heading down Route 369 towards Port Crane. The monkey escaped from the Roaming Mans Circus located just past Chenango Valley State Park at about 2:20am this morning. According to the Ring Master (Bozo) this monkey is considered to be armed and dangerous. " He likes to spend time going thru garbage cans looking for old worn out porn videos and mags" Bozo stated during a telephone interview. Bozo went on to say " he is armed with several pot holders and a bottle of KY Jelly. Please be very careful when bending over to put trach in your garbage can as this monkey will strike without warning." Roaming Mans Circus Security Officer Clide Chimp stated that they are setting up a catch net in Hillcrest where this monkey has been known to hang out. "Yes, we've gotten reports in the past when he's escaped, that there is a certain garbage can he likes to spend time at and we are enroute to that location to get the net set up before he arrives" Chimp said. Stay tuned to BCVoice for more information as it becomes available Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted March 22, 2008 Report Share Posted March 22, 2008 The monkey looks like this and responds to the name, "Weasel". He is considered unarmed, devious and mildy dangerous. Anyone approaching him should be alert and never turn your back to him. He probaly carries a few diseases and he been known in the past to be slovenly and flea-infested. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted March 22, 2008 Report Share Posted March 22, 2008 UPDATE Roaming Mans Circus Security Officer Clide Chimp was able to take this picture about 10 minutes ago about 30 feet from a Wedge camping trailer. According to Chimp the monkey picked up on the scent of something or someone and is now headed toward the Chenango Street area in Hillcrest. Anyone who see's this monkey should use extreme caution. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Navin R Johnson Posted March 22, 2008 Report Share Posted March 22, 2008 Boy that monkey is gonna get spanked when he gets home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sleepless in Hillcrest Posted March 22, 2008 Report Share Posted March 22, 2008 UPDATE Roaming Mans Circus Security Officer Clide Chimp was able to take this picture about 10 minutes ago about 30 feet from a Wedge camping trailer. According to Chimp the monkey picked up on the scent of something or someone and is now headed toward the Chenango Street area in Hillcrest. Anyone who see's this monkey should use extreme caution. Thanks for the "heads up". I'm in lock down mode...I've had monkey problems before! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted March 22, 2008 Report Share Posted March 22, 2008 UPDATE BCVoice News Team has just uncovered the story behind the story. Seems there is a gentleman in the Hillcrest area that has been publishing this monthly magizine. From the hundreds of telephone calls and e-mails we have found that this monkey is very upset because his picture was reportedly published without his permission. Stay tuned for more updates as they become available @ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted March 22, 2008 Report Share Posted March 22, 2008 UPDATE BCVoice News Team has just found out that the Port Dick Police Department has set up traps using Genesee Cream Ale Beer cans. This was first report by a very respectable in fear for his PUGS, yet older gentleman in the area, who is quoted as saying My pugs are safe and sound. They're using Genesee Cream Ale in the green cans for traps...monkees like that. If you're approached by a monkee, don't make eye contact...or they'll hump your leg 'til they're finished and you can"t "Shout" it out. You have to throw your pants away! And in a telephone call, confirmed by the Port Dick PD. "Yes we have set some traps and also have several officers on stake out near the Wedge Trailer he was spotted at this morning" said in the telephone interview. The member of the Port Dick PD refused to give a name. Stay Tuned For More UPDATES, as they become available Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Navin R Johnson Posted March 22, 2008 Report Share Posted March 22, 2008 shouldnt be too hard to find that wedge trailer....just go by smell. i hear those toliets in there can really take a pounding! Some one better catch that monkey...i think sleepless is really scared! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mouser Posted March 22, 2008 Report Share Posted March 22, 2008 OMG This is not a good thing. Sleepless, I can bring up that UZI if you need it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted March 22, 2008 Report Share Posted March 22, 2008 Any word on this? Have not seen Sleeples on in a while and wondering if he and this monkey have a thing going on @ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted March 22, 2008 Report Share Posted March 22, 2008 The monkey looks like this and responds to the name, "Weasel". He is considered unarmed, devious and mildy dangerous. Anyone approaching him should be alert and never turn your back to him. He probaly carries a few diseases and he been known in the past to be slovenly and flea-infested. Hey Ed, you'd think an ex-journalist would have more respect for using copyrighted works. I guess you have the same appreciation for them as you do for the difference between news and innuendo. @ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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