Guest Guest Posted April 2, 2008 Report Share Posted April 2, 2008 If you had to give your kids this advice would you tell them that it is better to stand up for themselves or be a door mat? If you believe in something I mean you know deep down the difference between right and wrong, should you stand up for what you believe in or keep your mouth shut so they arent offended? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest country girl Posted April 2, 2008 Report Share Posted April 2, 2008 If you had to give your kids this advice would you tell them that it is better to stand up for themselves or be a door mat? If you believe in something I mean you know deep down the difference between right and wrong, should you stand up for what you believe in or keep your mouth shut so they arent offended? Absolutely I would stand up for what I believe, and I would teach my kids to do the same. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted April 2, 2008 Report Share Posted April 2, 2008 Absolutely I would stand up for what I believe, and I would teach my kids to do the same. I know I would too but I have to wonder. Doesnt integrity come at a price?. I have always been taught to pick my battles. Is it better to compromise what you believe in or to hurt someones feelings? I think it is important to be honest .I think people respect honesty. I have been following some of the posts on this board today I see people who clearly agree with the OP leaning towards keeping the peace and suggesting the OPs keep their feelings to themselves. I think you lose integrity if you are afraid to stand up for what you believe in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted April 2, 2008 Report Share Posted April 2, 2008 Everyone always says that they would stand up for their beliefs and principles but when push comes to shove most keep their mouth shut and do nothing. There are many reasons we tell ourselves these self-integrity lies but the reasons that we go with the flow usually stem from self preservation. You smile and put up with the joke because you want to make the sale. You nod along with the distant relative's abhorant remarks because you don't want to look like a jerk and tick your family off. You ignore the consequences, do the paperwork and toe the company line because you don't want to loose your job. It's just part of being human that well adjusted and adaptive people don't live moral lives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest country girl Posted April 2, 2008 Report Share Posted April 2, 2008 When I posted earlier that I would stand up for what I believe, I certainly did not mean that I would either be rude or intentionally hurt somebody's feelings.....there is a difference. I have however been in circumstances where I have tried repeatedly to stand up for what I believe without being rude but after trying over and over and over, you just have to get your point across, if you believe in the circumstance enough. @ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tazz Posted April 2, 2008 Report Share Posted April 2, 2008 I have always encouraged my kids to stand up for what they believe is right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dreamtheat81 Posted April 2, 2008 Report Share Posted April 2, 2008 I have always been taught to pick my battles. Is it better to compromise what you believe in or to hurt someones feelings? I think it is important to be honest .I think people respect honesty. I would never compromise my beliefs. I feel the minute you compromise your beliefs, you are not staying true to what makes you an individual. We have beliefs for a reason. Sure, that may sound very cold, but so is making someone change their beliefs to make you feel better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.S. Posted April 2, 2008 Report Share Posted April 2, 2008 If you had to give your kids this advice would you tell them that it is better to stand up for themselves or be a door mat? If you believe in something I mean you know deep down the difference between right and wrong, should you stand up for what you believe in or keep your mouth shut so they arent offended? Im a person that tells it the way i see it. Im not always right or wrong but i do the best i can. Something bothers you open your mouth and say whats on your mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sleepless in Hillcrest Posted April 2, 2008 Report Share Posted April 2, 2008 I play doormat Monday thru Friday. It's called "paying the bills"! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted April 2, 2008 Report Share Posted April 2, 2008 I play doormat Monday thru Friday. It's called "paying the bills"! Thats not being a doormat. Especially when they are your bills. Being a doormat would paying bills that belong to someone else especially when its unappreciated You know like being used. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dingbat Posted April 2, 2008 Report Share Posted April 2, 2008 When I posted earlier that I would stand up for what I believe, I certainly did not mean that I would either be rude or intentionally hurt somebody's feelings.....there is a difference. I agree with this too. As far as my kids go, I think I've done a decent job in teaching them morals and to not just go along with what their friends are doing to fit in. I want them to be themselves. We are friends with a family who's oldest son is intellectually disabled. My boys really like him. One day we were all at a hockey game and my oldest son was there with a group of girls who all have a crush on my son, they saw our friends son and started to make fun of him! My son was appalled with these girls and told them so! I was SO proud of him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sleepless in Hillcrest Posted April 2, 2008 Report Share Posted April 2, 2008 Thats not being a doormat. Especially when they are your bills. Being a doormat would paying bills that belong to someone else especially when its unappreciated You know like being used. No, I'm talking about "biting my tongue" at work, even when I feel very strongly about something. Sometimes, you have to pick and choose your fights! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted April 2, 2008 Report Share Posted April 2, 2008 The original post is sloppily written creating false choices by equating unrelated terms. It could mean submissive/passive vs. assertive or you could take it to mean moral vs. immoral. The way it was written it asks whether you should be moral vs. passive which is obviously a false choice. People who always stand up for what they believe are pig headed, arrogant know it alls. They force others to pretend that they agree in order to complete social transactions. They are not particularly flexible and are forced to socially interact with very like minded people. Before we go too far in congratulating ourselves on our moral stances - do you believe in freedom? Then why do you buy goods made in repressive regeimes? Why compromise your beliefs in order to save a buck? Answer: self interest comes first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest VKB Posted April 2, 2008 Report Share Posted April 2, 2008 If you had to give your kids this advice would you tell them that it is better to stand up for themselves or be a door mat? If you believe in something I mean you know deep down the difference between right and wrong, should you stand up for what you believe in or keep your mouth shut so they arent offended? Yes, I have been a doormat most of my life & it sucks, most of it has to do with the way I was raised. If you are going to stand up for yourself you had better be willing to fight & argue which I despise. I am the kind of person that likes peace no matter what - its called being a passive person. However I am trying to teach my daughter to be a little tougher & stick up for herself. Because in all honesty you can't really change who you are but you can help mold your children to be stronger individuals. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest country girl Posted April 2, 2008 Report Share Posted April 2, 2008 "People who always stand up for what they believe are pig headed, arrogant know it alls. They force others to pretend that they agree in order to complete social transactions. They are not particularly flexible and are forced to socially interact with very like minded people". I am sorry but I completely disagree with this statement. I am not pig headed or a know-it-all. I certainly do not force anybody to agree with me, everybody has the right to their own opinion and they should all stand up for what they believe. I interact socially very well with people who are completely opposite of me and have totally different views on things, that does not make me disregard them or their feelings or beliefs just because they have different views / beliefs than I do. @ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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