debbers84 Posted March 25, 2008 Report Share Posted March 25, 2008 What in a persons mind makes them think that it is Okay to go out in public and abuse your spouse? What makes them think it okay to do it at all? On the way to my parents for Easter We are stopped at the light in front of the Giant on upper front st. and a women tries to get out of a red car in front of us, at first I thought she was going to switch with the driver But then the man in the drivers seat pulled her back in and started punching her in the face!!! So by then the light is green and they are punching each other, So being concerned for her safety I called it in and followed them until a unit responded But the worse part of it all is that the women didn’t want anything done, She didn’t want them to take him because she loves him!!! What in the world makes women think that they deserve this or should except this and what the hell makes men think that this is Okay to hit women. Maybe I was raised differently but In my Italian home I was taught that NO man will ever hit me and get away with it and to NEVER except that because I’m better than that, but I mean come on do these women really need these men so much that they except getting beat up by them? I was appalled but because the officer did not witness it and because the women would not cooperate they could not arrest him, So the officer said chances are they will just go home eat ham and beat each other up some more, That made me sick that she wanted to be with someone who would disrespect her like that, If I were in her position the officer would have been taking me to jail and him to the Hospital Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billy the Kid Posted March 25, 2008 Report Share Posted March 25, 2008 What in a persons mind makes them think that it is Okay to go out in public and abuse your spouse? What makes them think it okay to do it at all? On the way to my parents for Easter We are stopped at the light in front of the Giant on upper front st. and a women tries to get out of a red car in front of us, at first I thought she was going to switch with the driver But then the man in the drivers seat pulled her back in and started punching her in the face!!! So by then the light is green and they are punching each other, So being concerned for her safety I called it in and followed them until a unit responded But the worse part of it all is that the women didn’t want anything done, She didn’t want them to take him because she loves him!!! What in the world makes women think that they deserve this or should except this and what the hell makes men think that this is Okay to hit women. Maybe I was raised differently but In my Italian home I was taught that NO man will ever hit me and get away with it and to NEVER except that because I’m better than that, but I mean come on do these women really need these men so much that they except getting beat up by them? I was appalled but because the officer did not witness it and because the women would not cooperate they could not arrest him, So the officer said chances are they will just go home eat ham and beat each other up some more, That made me sick that she wanted to be with someone who would disrespect her like that, If I were in her position the officer would have been taking me to jail and him to the Hospital Deb, No disrespect, but did you see the whole altercation? Did you get the whole story? You said above that you witnessed them "punching each other". Did you ever think that maybe you saw the end result in what could have been an escalated atlercation between BOTH of them and maybe it is possible that the woman first started punching the man? I know you think this sound chauvinistic but so often women take the automatic position that the woman was being abused because she is a woman and not taking into consideration that it takes two to fight and women are just as capable of abuse as men. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dingbat Posted March 25, 2008 Report Share Posted March 25, 2008 Maybe you are right Billy, but I still wonder why people think it's okay to treat one another like that. Why stay in those types of relationships? I understand that there is sometimes a fine line between love and hate but if my relationship was so often on the hate line, I'd be out in a minute! And Debbers, it makes me cringe to hear women say "Buuut I looove heeeimmm" Ugh! GAG! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
debbers84 Posted March 25, 2008 Author Report Share Posted March 25, 2008 Yes Billy your right, I did not see the whole thing but regardless of what had happened before I came upon it NO man I don’t care what the situation belongs hitting a women And I am by no means blaming JUST men I think that if it comes to a point in your relationship were you need to lay each other out then you have come to the end of your relationship, But judging by the size of the man and the size of the women he could have very easily taken other measures rather than punching her in the face, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Kitty Posted March 25, 2008 Report Share Posted March 25, 2008 What in a persons mind makes them think that it is Okay to go out in public and abuse your spouse? What makes them think it okay to do it at all? On the way to my parents for Easter We are stopped at the light in front of the Giant on upper front st. and a women tries to get out of a red car in front of us, at first I thought she was going to switch with the driver But then the man in the drivers seat pulled her back in and started punching her in the face!!! So by then the light is green and they are punching each other, So being concerned for her safety I called it in and followed them until a unit responded But the worse part of it all is that the women didn’t want anything done, She didn’t want them to take him because she loves him!!! What in the world makes women think that they deserve this or should except this and what the hell makes men think that this is Okay to hit women. Maybe I was raised differently but In my Italian home I was taught that NO man will ever hit me and get away with it and to NEVER except that because I’m better than that, but I mean come on do these women really need these men so much that they except getting beat up by them? I was appalled but because the officer did not witness it and because the women would not cooperate they could not arrest him, So the officer said chances are they will just go home eat ham and beat each other up some more, That made me sick that she wanted to be with someone who would disrespect her like that, If I were in her position the officer would have been taking me to jail and him to the Hospital Sadly, you just answered your own question. As long as she doesn't press charges, it will keep happening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest A Decent Guy Posted March 25, 2008 Report Share Posted March 25, 2008 Yes Billy your right, I did not see the whole thing but regardless of what had happened before I came upon it NO man I don't care what the situation belongs hitting a women And I am by no means blaming JUST men I think that if it comes to a point in your relationship were you need to lay each other out then you have come to the end of your relationship, But judging by the size of the man and the size of the women he could have very easily taken other measures rather than punching her in the face, I think most people will agree with you. There are people for whom hitting and other physical attacks are normal behavior. If she "loves him" and refuses to press charges, what that means is that there is some sort of "emotional payoff" for both of them, something that they're getting out of their mutual fighting. That's why they both stay. Neither of them could handle being with someone for whom it's normal to discuss problems and conflicts and try to resolve them without hitting each other. Even if you remove the violence and screaming, I'm always amazed that women stay with men who are emotionally abusive. They yell, berate, insult and belittle these women. The women love to complain about it, but always make excuses for not leaving. When their bad boy finally gets up and leaves, they whine about never being able to find a "decent guy". If and when a good man ever becomes interested in them, they (again) find a thousand reasons why he's "not my type" or make up other excuses why it won't work. I've had that done to me so many times that I finally just stopped asking women out altogether. I haven't asked anyone out in 3 years. Their insanity finally burned me out. I don't need those games and childish BS anymore. I'm all growed up now. @ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
debbers84 Posted March 25, 2008 Author Report Share Posted March 25, 2008 Your right I just think that it is sad that people allow this to happen to them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted March 25, 2008 Report Share Posted March 25, 2008 These two could just be kinky and the altercation was just foreplay.. Nice way to spend Easter , tied to a bed post with a hard boiled egg in your mouth.......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted March 25, 2008 Report Share Posted March 25, 2008 Your right I just think that it is sad that people allow this to happen to them Indeed. 20 years ago I saw a counselor, who told me many wise things. One was: you can't outperform your self image. People live up to, or down to, the unconscious self image they have of themselves, and their core beliefs of what they deserve in life. @ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Benni Booboo Posted March 25, 2008 Report Share Posted March 25, 2008 A person will not make a change in an abusive relationship until they have strong confidence in themself. Statistically, a person will leave and return to an abusive relationship on average seven times before finally leaving it for good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted March 25, 2008 Report Share Posted March 25, 2008 A person will not make a change in an abusive relationship until they have strong confidence in themself. Statistically, a person will leave and return to an abusive relationship on average seven times before finally leaving it for good. I suppose you work as a battered womens advocate. So , if a client comes in after two beatings , you advice her that she should return home and take another five beatings. Your stats suck !!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted March 25, 2008 Report Share Posted March 25, 2008 I suppose you work as a battered womens advocate. So , if a client comes in after two beatings , you advice her that she should return home and take another five beatings. Your stats suck !!!! Sometimes linear thinking sounds good, it just doesn't make any sense. Or were you just being a troll? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted March 25, 2008 Report Share Posted March 25, 2008 Sometimes linear thinking sounds good, it just doesn't make any sense. Or were you just being a troll? JUST TROLLING AROUND ... THANKS FOR TAKING IT WITH A GRAIN OF SALT , I LIKE YOU SO FAR !! ARE YOU INTO BONDAGE TOO ?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted March 25, 2008 Report Share Posted March 25, 2008 JUST TROLLING AROUND ... THANKS FOR TAKING IT WITH A GRAIN OF SALT , I LIKE YOU SO FAR !! ARE YOU INTO BONDAGE TOO ?? As a matter of fact, I am. Are you? If so, I'd like to meet you. @ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest concerned Posted March 25, 2008 Report Share Posted March 25, 2008 I think most people will agree with you. There are people for whom hitting and other physical attacks are normal behavior. If she "loves him" and refuses to press charges, what that means is that there is some sort of "emotional payoff" for both of them, something that they're getting out of their mutual fighting. That's why they both stay. Neither of them could handle being with someone for whom it's normal to discuss problems and conflicts and try to resolve them without hitting each other. Even if you remove the violence and screaming, I'm always amazed that women stay with men who are emotionally abusive. They yell, berate, insult and belittle these women. The women love to complain about it, but always make excuses for not leaving. When their bad boy finally gets up and leaves, they whine about never being able to find a "decent guy". If and when a good man ever becomes interested in them, they (again) find a thousand reasons why he's "not my type" or make up other excuses why it won't work. I've had that done to me so many times that I finally just stopped asking women out altogether. I haven't asked anyone out in 3 years. Their insanity finally burned me out. I don't need those games and childish BS anymore. I'm all growed up now. Maybe you have been looking in the wrong places, I am in my 2nd marriage and we are on our 12th year after a nitemare 1st marriage. We could not be happier, and I know that there are good decent men and women like us out there. @ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Kitty Posted March 25, 2008 Report Share Posted March 25, 2008 These two could just be kinky and the altercation was just foreplay.. Nice way to spend Easter , tied to a bed post with a hard boiled egg in your mouth.......... ... and wearing bunny ears. You forgot the bunny ears. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Benni Booboo Posted March 25, 2008 Report Share Posted March 25, 2008 I suppose you work as a battered womens advocate. So , if a client comes in after two beatings , you advice her that she should return home and take another five beatings. No, I am not an advocate at the shelter. I hate when people like you show your ignorance. You can't control a person, should they choose to return home that is their choice. No professional would tell them to return home, duh. Don't talk about stuff you know nothing about. @ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted March 25, 2008 Report Share Posted March 25, 2008 No, I am not an advocate at the shelter. I hate when people like you show your ignorance. You can't control a person, should they choose to return home that is their choice. No professional would tell them to return home, duh. Don't talk about stuff you know nothing about. @ I thought I , made it perfectly clear I was just kidding around.. I'm sorry lady ... please don't spank me...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted March 25, 2008 Report Share Posted March 25, 2008 What in a persons mind makes them think that it is Okay to go out in public and abuse your spouse? What makes them think it okay to do it at all? On the way to my parents for Easter We are stopped at the light in front of the Giant on upper front st. and a women tries to get out of a red car in front of us, at first I thought she was going to switch with the driver But then the man in the drivers seat pulled her back in and started punching her in the face!!! So by then the light is green and they are punching each other, So being concerned for her safety I called it in and followed them until a unit responded But the worse part of it all is that the women didn’t want anything done, She didn’t want them to take him because she loves him!!! What in the world makes women think that they deserve this or should except this and what the hell makes men think that this is Okay to hit women. Maybe I was raised differently but In my Italian home I was taught that NO man will ever hit me and get away with it and to NEVER except that because I’m better than that, but I mean come on do these women really need these men so much that they except getting beat up by them? I was appalled but because the officer did not witness it and because the women would not cooperate they could not arrest him, So the officer said chances are they will just go home eat ham and beat each other up some more, That made me sick that she wanted to be with someone who would disrespect her like that, If I were in her position the officer would have been taking me to jail and him to the Hospital Maybe she jumped in front of him in line for the free clothes dryer at the laundromat...in that case, she probably had it coming. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted March 25, 2008 Report Share Posted March 25, 2008 ... and wearing bunny ears. You forgot the bunny ears. Hey Kitty Cat !! What are you doing later ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bee Posted March 25, 2008 Report Share Posted March 25, 2008 Deb, No disrespect, but did you see the whole altercation? Did you get the whole story? You said above that you witnessed them "punching each other". Did you ever think that maybe you saw the end result in what could have been an escalated atlercation between BOTH of them and maybe it is possible that the woman first started punching the man? I know you think this sound chauvinistic but so often women take the automatic position that the woman was being abused because she is a woman and not taking into consideration that it takes two to fight and women are just as capable of abuse as men. Hello...shovanistic....just thought I'd help out with the spelling there... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted March 25, 2008 Report Share Posted March 25, 2008 As the mother of sons, and a woman who has never ever been hit by a man, let me say this: The nanosecond a woman 'swings' then the man has ever right in the world to lay his hands on her...not to hit back, but certainly to protect himself and restrain her. Family violence makes me sick, but just because you are a woman does not mean you can hit your partner either. However, anyone with a brain knows that men are much more often the abusers. With the resources available today, I can't imagine why anyone - male of female - would stay in an abusive relationship, especially with children in the family. That is pretty much a guarantee to a screwed up kid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted March 25, 2008 Report Share Posted March 25, 2008 As the mother of sons, and a woman who has never ever been hit by a man, let me say this: The nanosecond a woman 'swings' then the man has ever right in the world to lay his hands on her...not to hit back, but certainly to protect himself and restrain her. Family violence makes me sick, but just because you are a woman does not mean you can hit your partner either. However, anyone with a brain knows that men are much more often the abusers. With the resources available today, I can't imagine why anyone - male of female - would stay in an abusive relationship, especially with children in the family. That is pretty much a guarantee to a screwed up kid. Yep , I agree , the children are the ones who suffer the most. Sometimes they stand out like sore thumbs too. You know what I mean ----- I seen this young girl this mourning with purple and blue hair. WOW , that is sad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.S. Posted March 25, 2008 Report Share Posted March 25, 2008 I beleive its pretty low for any man to hit a women. Dont beleive you can get any lower then that. Just thinking out loud here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billy the Kid Posted March 25, 2008 Report Share Posted March 25, 2008 Hello...shovanistic....just thought I'd help out with the spelling there... Thanks but I think you better check your spell check! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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