dingbat Posted April 29, 2008 Report Share Posted April 29, 2008 Then stop!!! I have seen so many threads here lately about men and women and you are all looking for the wrong thing. You are all (men & women) going about this the wrong way, everyone is looking for love. You are looking for Miss Right or Mr. Wonderful and I am here to tell you that there is no such thing. (or at least, very rare) I am not saying this to be pessimistic or negative, but as a realist. If you stop trying to find this in a mate you might actually end up finding someone that you like. I am not telling you to just settle either. I understand that attraction is important, but it doesn't always have to come first. Take an honest look back at your past relationships, you see someone, you have the hots for them and everything is all rosey-lovey-dovey...at first. Lust wears off, you know that. Then that's when the "warts" show through. Instead of searching for your perfect love, try looking for a friend, someone you like, someone that you might enjoy hanging out with after the honeymoon wears off. Realize that relationships are hard work and don't be so quick to throw in the towel, have some patience, pick your battles, boobs sag and men fart.....blah blah blah It's not rocket science. I am not an expert, but I think we might be doing something right. I am married and we are both far from perfect. We irk each other and we fight, but the bottom line always comes down to one thing, we like each other. So it's just my opinion, but if nothing else is working for you, give it a shot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest GUEST Posted April 29, 2008 Report Share Posted April 29, 2008 Very well said dingbat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted April 29, 2008 Report Share Posted April 29, 2008 dingbat I think you should host a bcv dating game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charmed Posted April 29, 2008 Report Share Posted April 29, 2008 Very well said! My husband and I are best friends on top of everything else. It is hard work but it takes two and you have to be commited! We both love being married it hasn't changed a single thing for us. He still gets to go with his friends and I get to go with mine when we want to. It's called compromise and it does work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted April 29, 2008 Report Share Posted April 29, 2008 "love always comes when you stop looking for it..." blah blah blah.................. so lame Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charmed Posted April 29, 2008 Report Share Posted April 29, 2008 I'm glad to hear you have such a positive outlook on love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dingbat Posted April 29, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 29, 2008 "love always comes when you stop looking for it..." blah blah blah.................. so lame That's not at all what I said, I think that line is lame too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted April 29, 2008 Report Share Posted April 29, 2008 I'm glad to hear you have such a positive outlook on love. When you've been through the parade of flakes that I've been through, and heard that line a few thousand times, you, too would learn to hate it. My comment had nothing to do with my outlook on love, just that statement, and a few others like them. Just so you know, I HATE that eharmony crap. Making tons of money selling people false hope should be illegal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kermit Posted April 29, 2008 Report Share Posted April 29, 2008 eHarmony is a hoax. The commercials just make me want to hurl. While I agree with most of dingbat's original post, I have to admit that the line about meeting your mate when you're not looking or least expect it makes me want to beat the person delivering the message. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted April 29, 2008 Report Share Posted April 29, 2008 That's not at all what I said, I think that line is lame too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted April 29, 2008 Report Share Posted April 29, 2008 eHarmony is a hoax. The commercials just make me want to hurl. While I agree with most of dingbat's original post, I have to admit that the line about meeting your mate when you're not looking or least expect it makes me want to beat the person delivering the message. Finally. Someone who sees it the way I do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted April 29, 2008 Report Share Posted April 29, 2008 That line irratates me to my core when someone throws it out at me. It is usually from somebody who has absolutely no experience being in my present situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted April 29, 2008 Report Share Posted April 29, 2008 I only hear it from married people or people who've been in long term relationships of some kind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kermit Posted April 29, 2008 Report Share Posted April 29, 2008 I only hear it from married people or people who've been in long term relationships of some kind. So true! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted April 29, 2008 Report Share Posted April 29, 2008 Then stop!!! I have seen so many threads here lately about men and women and you are all looking for the wrong thing. You are all (men & women) going about this the wrong way, everyone is looking for love. You state in your post that ""the bottom line always comes down to one thing, we like each other"" and I have to ask...WHAT ABOUT THE OTHER FOUR LETTER WORD ---> LOVE ? We've been married (second time for both of us) for over 25 years and not only are we best of buddy's, talk about everything and anything, treating each other like the "first date" but we also LOVE each other very much. Maybe you need to re-think your post ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dingbat Posted April 29, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 29, 2008 No, I don't think I need to rethink my post. Of course I love my husband, my point in this whole thread is to get people to look outside of the box if things aren't working for them. Most people have this idealized vision of what love is, if you've been married for over 25 years I would think that you would know that there is more to a relationship than "romantic love". You need more than that, romantic love is great, but, and this is just my opinion, when you are going through the problems of everyday life, having a partner that you like is more important than what most people think LOVE should be. I love my husband (of 15 years), but when I'm mad at him and he's mad at me, I sure am glad that underneath it all we like each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted April 29, 2008 Report Share Posted April 29, 2008 All I've managed to date is romance junkies and Drama addicts. It's sad out here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted May 1, 2008 Report Share Posted May 1, 2008 I married the young man that my mother thought was the best. Sounds unreal I know, especially as I had some doubts about him. It's 46 years later now and I love him so, wouldn't trade places with the Queen of Sheba. Mother always knows best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.S. Posted May 1, 2008 Report Share Posted May 1, 2008 I been married along time ...Gezz I forgot how long But my husband and I love and Cherish one another and wouldnt change anything. Sure we have are ups and downs like any marrage does but it comes back to us loving and having a relationship that we both cherish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
football coach Posted May 1, 2008 Report Share Posted May 1, 2008 Dingbat, I agree. My father used to say when all the sex and glitter fades away are you still friends. @ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted May 1, 2008 Report Share Posted May 1, 2008 Anyone have expeariance with that 1-800 ACME Dating service thats advertised in the Press?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Just Lookin Posted May 1, 2008 Report Share Posted May 1, 2008 For a long time the idea of marriage was the last thing I wanted after experiencing a nasty divorce. Now, I would be very happy being an "old married lady" with someone to live out the rest of my days with compatibly and in love. Thats not the way God, had it planned for me though, apparently. How time can change one's opinions of things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charmed Posted May 1, 2008 Report Share Posted May 1, 2008 Just so you know, I HATE that eharmony crap. Making tons of money selling people false hope should be illegal. That is true. I do know someone that used eharmony and they are grossly happy and getting married soon. They travel the world together and are very much in love. I guess it works sometimes. Good luck on finding love! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted May 1, 2008 Report Share Posted May 1, 2008 Then stop!!! I have seen so many threads here lately about men and women and you are all looking for the wrong thing. You are all (men & women) going about this the wrong way, everyone is looking for love. You are looking for Miss Right or Mr. Wonderful and I am here to tell you that there is no such thing. (or at least, very rare) I am not saying this to be pessimistic or negative, but as a realist. If you stop trying to find this in a mate you might actually end up finding someone that you like. I am not telling you to just settle either. I understand that attraction is important, but it doesn't always have to come first. Take an honest look back at your past relationships, you see someone, you have the hots for them and everything is all rosey-lovey-dovey...at first. Lust wears off, you know that. Then that's when the "warts" show through. Instead of searching for your perfect love, try looking for a friend, someone you like, someone that you might enjoy hanging out with after the honeymoon wears off. Realize that relationships are hard work and don't be so quick to throw in the towel, have some patience, pick your battles, boobs sag and men fart.....blah blah blah It's not rocket science. I am not an expert, but I think we might be doing something right. I am married and we are both far from perfect. We irk each other and we fight, but the bottom line always comes down to one thing, we like each other. So it's just my opinion, but if nothing else is working for you, give it a shot. One of the first lessons I learned in life, don't mistaken lust for love! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted May 1, 2008 Report Share Posted May 1, 2008 eHarmony is a hoax. The commercials just make me want to hurl. While I agree with most of dingbat's original post, I have to admit that the line about meeting your mate when you're not looking or least expect it makes me want to beat the person delivering the message. i'm w/ u on that one, i think most of those people that hooked up on that commercial are fuggly. they're all doe-eyed and dreamy w/ their new mate. they are so freaking homely, it's good that they are now getting some 'cause even at 2am and a belly full of beer wouldn't help their plight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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