jmower71 Posted March 28, 2008 Report Share Posted March 28, 2008 its not the size of the boat but the motion in the ocean .. or ............ whoop s....................... HAHAHAHAHa... god ive had a bad day (edited) just because .. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ed Posted March 28, 2008 Report Share Posted March 28, 2008 its not the size of the boat but the motion in the ocean .. or ............ whoop s....................... HAHAHAHAHa... god i have a bad day Sorry to hear that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmower71 Posted March 28, 2008 Report Share Posted March 28, 2008 30 day notice... i win. unfortunately haha @ yeah but was your notice after 12 years and perfect reviews? oh heck ....... i just gave myself up .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted March 28, 2008 Report Share Posted March 28, 2008 To the woman who did 'nothing' today...I sincerely hope you are kidding. Perhaps some time with a therapist would help, seriously. If things are as you say they are, why why why are you allowing yourself to be put in that role? Make a list of the chores you do for a month, and the amount of time you spend at them and add in the number of hours you work at the job you get paid to do......and keep a list of the things he does and the # of hours he is at work. You will see one of two things: Either he is working a similar number of hours OR you are his maid.... If it is B, then sit down, when the time is right, and talk - not whine, not complain, not have 'attitude' but just lay it out and show him how horribly unfair it is..... Then with your list of chores - AND HIS list of chores (with the amount of time each takes - say weekly) ask him if would agree to 'pitch in' more...and ASK him what would be a fair 'cut' of hours for him and for you...then ask him to pick a chore that he is willing to take on...then you pick one, then he picks one etc until his agreed upon # of hours is met as is yours..... If he refuses, well then you have to decide, as Ann Landers used to say: is staying in this marriage worth it TO ME....think it over, make a decision and go with it.... It just isn't worth being angry all the time and, no doubt, making his life and yours miserable. YOU HAVE THE POWER to get out, make it better or decide he is worth it to stay, but stop stop stop being a victim....you only are a victim if you choose to be. And I know, been there, and made it better.... Are our chores equal? No. But he did, a long time ago, willingly take on more household work and I decided it was good enough for me because no one is perfect, not him and God knows not me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted March 28, 2008 Report Share Posted March 28, 2008 To the woman who did 'nothing' today...I sincerely hope you are kidding. Perhaps some time with a therapist would help, seriously. If things are as you say they are, why why why are you allowing yourself to be put in that role? Make a list of the chores you do for a month, and the amount of time you spend at them and add in the number of hours you work at the job you get paid to do......and keep a list of the things he does and the # of hours he is at work. You will see one of two things: Either he is working a similar number of hours OR you are his maid.... If it is B, then sit down, when the time is right, and talk - not whine, not complain, not have 'attitude' but just lay it out and show him how horribly unfair it is..... Then with your list of chores - AND HIS list of chores (with the amount of time each takes - say weekly) ask him if would agree to 'pitch in' more...and ASK him what would be a fair 'cut' of hours for him and for you...then ask him to pick a chore that he is willing to take on...then you pick one, then he picks one etc until his agreed upon # of hours is met as is yours..... If he refuses, well then you have to decide, as Ann Landers used to say: is staying in this marriage worth it TO ME....think it over, make a decision and go with it.... It just isn't worth being angry all the time and, no doubt, making his life and yours miserable. YOU HAVE THE POWER to get out, make it better or decide he is worth it to stay, but stop stop stop being a victim....you only are a victim if you choose to be. And I know, been there, and made it better.... Are our chores equal? No. But he did, a long time ago, willingly take on more household work and I decided it was good enough for me because no one is perfect, not him and God knows not me. I could be wrong, but I got the impression she was a housewife who doesn't work a job. @ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted March 28, 2008 Report Share Posted March 28, 2008 Then do the same thing - obviously only counting hours at home doing WORK....Difficult to believe that per week she would work the same number of hours he does... However, everyone deserves a day off - so, she should take a day off a week - and explain it to him first...ordering take out 1x a week and basically enjoying the day...and then don't resent his his off @ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saturday'sChild Posted March 28, 2008 Report Share Posted March 28, 2008 I could be wrong, but I got the impression she was a housewife who doesn't work a job. @ I think BE said that she had a day off from work, so she does work both inside and outside the home. BE, I’ve found that the more you are willing to do for people, the more they are willing to let you do. Don’t be too tough on yourself as it sounds from this and other posts that you work hard for your family and your employer. Take time for and care of yourself. I used to do the same thing and now my mission is to have fun and laugh hard every day for the rest of my life. Sure, we still have problems and work to accomplish but sometimes it makes it easier for us to deal with everything. It’s Friday and I’ll be out with friends the minute I’m off work for the entire evening, will be gone all day and night tomorrow and will worry about the work at home some other time. I do realize it is different for everyone as I don’t have kids at home now, but as long as my house is straightened and not filthy, that’s close enough because I could be dead tomorrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dingbat Posted March 28, 2008 Report Share Posted March 28, 2008 To the woman who did 'nothing' today...I sincerely hope you are kidding. Perhaps some time with a therapist would help, seriously. If things are as you say they are, why why why are you allowing yourself to be put in that role? Make a list of the chores you do for a month, and the amount of time you spend at them and add in the number of hours you work at the job you get paid to do......and keep a list of the things he does and the # of hours he is at work. You will see one of two things: Either he is working a similar number of hours OR you are his maid.... If it is B, then sit down, when the time is right, and talk - not whine, not complain, not have 'attitude' but just lay it out and show him how horribly unfair it is..... Then with your list of chores - AND HIS list of chores (with the amount of time each takes - say weekly) ask him if would agree to 'pitch in' more...and ASK him what would be a fair 'cut' of hours for him and for you...then ask him to pick a chore that he is willing to take on...then you pick one, then he picks one etc until his agreed upon # of hours is met as is yours..... If he refuses, well then you have to decide, as Ann Landers used to say: is staying in this marriage worth it TO ME....think it over, make a decision and go with it.... It just isn't worth being angry all the time and, no doubt, making his life and yours miserable. YOU HAVE THE POWER to get out, make it better or decide he is worth it to stay, but stop stop stop being a victim....you only are a victim if you choose to be. And I know, been there, and made it better.... Are our chores equal? No. But he did, a long time ago, willingly take on more household work and I decided it was good enough for me because no one is perfect, not him and God knows not me. I went back and reread everything Brighteyes said and I didn't hear her acting like a victim! She's probably having a "Mom Moment" which all of us have from time to time. Too much to do and too little time to do it. I don't know too many Mom's who don't at some point feel a little taken for granted. Brighteyes, you shouldn't feel guilty about having that kind of day. I read everything on your list...if you picked up your daughter, it was a good day! @ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted March 29, 2008 Report Share Posted March 29, 2008 She definitely feels victimized and trapped. She and ONLY she has the power to change the dynamics of the situation she is in. Step up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted March 29, 2008 Report Share Posted March 29, 2008 tell my husband it is okay to have some down time. That is being a victim. Tough beans if HE doesn't think so. Last time I checked, my husband isn't my Daddy....not that I don't respect his opinion, I just do not feel he is my boss (nor vice versa)....and so if he didn't think it was OK for me to have 'down time' then that would be fine with me, DON'T think so...somehow I will manage to get over him thinking that way. And I will get the 'down time' I think I should have, not the down time HE thinks I should have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sleepless in Hillcrest Posted March 29, 2008 Report Share Posted March 29, 2008 She definitely feels victimized and trapped. She and ONLY she has the power to change the dynamics of the situation she is in. Step up. I've met "bright eyes" and her daughter and they are very nice girls. I am going to say something she probably won't like... but I'm speaking from my heart and my experience. Up until four years ago, I never wrote a check, never went to the grocery store, never did laundry, never cleaned the house, never cooked a meal, never, never, never....everything was my wife's job. Well guess what? She left and suddenly everything became my job! I've become "Suzie Homemaker". I've learned to use the vacuum cleaner, squeeze fruit at the supermarket, fold clothes, read some recipes (I make a great macaroni and cheese with salmon patties), understand the reason for spring cleaning, etc.... I took her for granted, and finally figured it out. I hope your husband doesn't stumble down the same stupid trail I did. I learned my lesson and it cost me dearly! I'll pay the rest of my lonely life!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brighteyes Posted March 29, 2008 Report Share Posted March 29, 2008 I've met "bright eyes" and her daughter and they are very nice girls. I am going to say something she probably won't like... but I'm speaking from my heart and my experience. Up until four years ago, I never wrote a check, never went to the grocery store, never did laundry, never cleaned the house, never cooked a meal, never, never, never....everything was my wife's job. Well guess what? She left and suddenly everything became my job! I've become "Suzie Homemaker". I've learned to use the vacuum cleaner, squeeze fruit at the supermarket, fold clothes, read some recipes (I make a great macaroni and cheese with salmon patties), understand the reason for spring cleaning, etc.... I took her for granted, and finally figured it out. I hope your husband doesn't stumble down the same stupid trail I did. I learned my lesson and it cost me dearly! I'll pay the rest of my lonely life!!! Hey Sleepless you do sound like my husband. He never does the laundry, dishes, grocery shopping, etc. We both work 40 plus hours a week and I am just getting mighty resentful after 16 years of this. Just like tomorrow I am going to work overtime because I need the money real bad and he won't help out with the money either and I have to get some more work done on my car soon. Don't want to work overtime, but kind of half too. You are probably right about what will happen in the future I'm afraid to say. I've put up with a lot and talked till I'm blue in the face, but it does no good. Someday he will find out what it is like to wash clothes, do dishes, grocery shop, etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted March 29, 2008 Report Share Posted March 29, 2008 IF everything you said is true, why in God's name are you with this guy?????????????????? It HAS to be better alone...and guess what? He doesn't love you - you are his free cleaning lady, laundry woman, accountant, butler and cook. . If he cared at all about YOU he would pitch in. Grow up and be a woman, not a doormat. Move on, starting today Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sleepless in Hillcrest Posted March 29, 2008 Report Share Posted March 29, 2008 Hey Sleepless you do sound like my husband. He never does the laundry, dishes, grocery shopping, etc. We both work 40 plus hours a week and I am just getting mighty resentful after 16 years of this. Just like tomorrow I am going to work overtime because I need the money real bad and he won't help out with the money either and I have to get some more work done on my car soon. Don't want to work overtime, but kind of half too. You are probably right about what will happen in the future I'm afraid to say. I've put up with a lot and talked till I'm blue in the face, but it does no good. Someday he will find out what it is like to wash clothes, do dishes, grocery shop, etc. If you want to save your marriage BE, slap him in the face and wake him up. He's stupid like I was. Hopefully, he'll wake up before I did when it was too late. Don't give up on him yet! You're a very pretty (not just looks) lady...I think he needs to be reminded of this. Good luck young lady! I don't want you to go thru what I did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted March 29, 2008 Report Share Posted March 29, 2008 Hey Sleepless you do sound like my husband. He never does the laundry, dishes, grocery shopping, etc. We both work 40 plus hours a week and I am just getting mighty resentful after 16 years of this. Just like tomorrow I am going to work overtime because I need the money real bad and he won't help out with the money either and I have to get some more work done on my car soon. Don't want to work overtime, but kind of half too. You are probably right about what will happen in the future I'm afraid to say. I've put up with a lot and talked till I'm blue in the face, but it does no good. Someday he will find out what it is like to wash clothes, do dishes, grocery shop, etc. Who does the yardwork and repairs/maintenance to the house? @ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sleepless in Hillcrest Posted March 29, 2008 Report Share Posted March 29, 2008 Who does the yardwork and repairs/maintenance to the house? Good question, but irrelevant. I always thought I was keeping my half of the bargain by taking the garbage out, mowing the lawn, and shoveling the snow. It just doesn't add up. Women take total charge of a relationship,because they can. Men cannot. As stupid as I think my exwife is, our children are sucessful because of her, not me. BE, smack him right between the eyes, and tell him to wake up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted March 29, 2008 Report Share Posted March 29, 2008 Good question, but irrelevant. I always thought I was keeping my half of the bargain by taking the garbage out, mowing the lawn, and shoveling the snow. It just doesn't add up. Women take total charge of a relationship,because they can. Men cannot. As stupid as I think my exwife is, our children are sucessful because of her, not me. BE, smack him right between the eyes, and tell him to wake up! I know a man who takes care of a very large yard and the house. It's not a 1 or 2 hour a week task. How does he make it fair with his woman if he's putting in almost as many hours as she does? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brighteyes Posted March 29, 2008 Report Share Posted March 29, 2008 Who does the yardwork and repairs/maintenance to the house? @ He does most of the yardwork and maintenance, but I help with some of it. He hasn't had to do much this winter cause there hasn't been much snow and then he plows with his lawn tractor. I like being outside also, so do some of this also. Not trying to complain, but just feel used. @ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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