Guest Guest Posted April 3, 2008 Report Share Posted April 3, 2008 I can't believe some of the ridiculous replies on this site. It's like nobody has any respect! If any of you spoke to me in person the way you answer in your posts I would probably slap first and ask your name after! I to am a step mom and if I was in this situation I would expect respect and consideration. I would expect my child (I don't believe in 'steps') to ask either for my advice on the subject or ask for OUR assistance. And I would NEVER NEVER EVER co-sign for credit for anyone. My child or someone else's including my husbands. It's not that I don't love them. In fact it is because I love them that I wouldn't do that. I love them enough to teach them the value of wise spending and good credit. Well thank you mother superior. It is great to know hard love is boss. @ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted April 3, 2008 Report Share Posted April 3, 2008 Maybe you have a decent relationship with your step children but it is extremely clear that this woman does not. So to expect and demand that they discuss any issues with her is ridiculous. I hope you are a good stepmom, there are lots of them around. However, there are many who aren't, who step into a step-parent relationship expecting one thing and find out it is much much harder than they expected, and so they give up. Say what you want, this woman came across as clearly thinking her children were much much finer people than her step kids.....I would be willing to bet my next check that if the child with the cell phone issue was HER kid, it would be a completely different story, and somehow that would be OK. Did the Dad 'spoil' the kids...maybe....but as I said before, she is only causing more damage to everyone involved - herself, the kid, her husband and their marriage, so DROP IT. She will NOT win this, even if she gets the Dad to quit paying the bill, all she is doing is damage and she comes across as a witch, which I am sure is due to years and years of treating the step kids as second class citizens - probably because when she was 'with' their father (every other weekend, I don't buy that story for a moment) they resented her and treated her like crap...and if you are a step mom, you know that is something you have to overcome and not blame the kids or the ex-wife...she didn't deal and makes the whole family dynamic suck. You reap what you sow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted April 3, 2008 Report Share Posted April 3, 2008 To Mr Air Force: You made a great choice, and paid your own way. Good for you. However, somewhere along the line you forgot that other people can choose other options and that does not make them moochers. You are a self made man, but intolerant - and frankly, the service does tend to reinforce that type of thinking. @ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted April 3, 2008 Report Share Posted April 3, 2008 One of my son's best friend's decided to do what this guy did - although when he got out he didn't have to work 2 jobs b/c he had saved so much money while in the service...he was the oldest of 3 and felt that the money wasn't there for his parents to help him and his siblings through college. However, we did have the money to help our son - and neither he nor his (still) best friend saw what he did as mooching. I agree that this guy, at least on this post, comes across as rigid and unbending. Maybe he isn't since all we see is a tiny slice of his personality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted April 3, 2008 Report Share Posted April 3, 2008 One of my son's best friend's decided to do what this guy did - although when he got out he didn't have to work 2 jobs b/c he had saved so much money while in the service...he was the oldest of 3 and felt that the money wasn't there for his parents to help him and his siblings through college. However, we did have the money to help our son - and neither he nor his (still) best friend saw what he did as mooching. I agree that this guy, at least on this post, comes across as rigid and unbending. Maybe he isn't since all we see is a tiny slice of his personality. I'm not all rigid and unbending. I'm also not male. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted April 3, 2008 Report Share Posted April 3, 2008 To Mr Air Force: You made a great choice, and paid your own way. Good for you. However, somewhere along the line you forgot that other people can choose other options and that does not make them moochers. You are a self made man, but intolerant - and frankly, the service does tend to reinforce that type of thinking. @ At least he is "self made" AND a man Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted April 3, 2008 Report Share Posted April 3, 2008 At least he is "self made" AND a man Actually, I'm "self made" AND a WOman. Thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted April 3, 2008 Report Share Posted April 3, 2008 Maybe you have a decent relationship with your step children but it is extremely clear that this woman does not. So to expect and demand that they discuss any issues with her is ridiculous. I hope you are a good stepmom, there are lots of them around. However, there are many who aren't, who step into a step-parent relationship expecting one thing and find out it is much much harder than they expected, and so they give up. Say what you want, this woman came across as clearly thinking her children were much much finer people than her step kids.....I would be willing to bet my next check that if the child with the cell phone issue was HER kid, it would be a completely different story, and somehow that would be OK. Did the Dad 'spoil' the kids...maybe....but as I said before, she is only causing more damage to everyone involved - herself, the kid, her husband and their marriage, so DROP IT. She will NOT win this, even if she gets the Dad to quit paying the bill, all she is doing is damage and she comes across as a witch, which I am sure is due to years and years of treating the step kids as second class citizens - probably because when she was 'with' their father (every other weekend, I don't buy that story for a moment) they resented her and treated her like crap...and if you are a step mom, you know that is something you have to overcome and not blame the kids or the ex-wife...she didn't deal and makes the whole family dynamic suck. You reap what you sow. You just lost your last paycheck sister! It appears you werent paying attention. She said she added her kids to her plan after they asked and that they are paying their share of the bill. Did you ever stop to think that maybe the reason they dont have a decent relationship IS because they dont discuss anything with her? They never have. For 14 years they pretended she didnt exist. She was a nobody. Who would blame her for resenting them? The sad thing here is that there are 2 sets of kids and it seems like 2 sets of rules. This woman must be torn. I can imagine her own children resent the step siblings as well as their stepdad . Why is it fair they have to be responsible and their step siblings don't have rules @ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted April 4, 2008 Report Share Posted April 4, 2008 Hey boo freakin hoo, the CHILDREN weren't nice to the woman who 'replaced' their mother in their father's affections? Wow, that is unexpected! Look I am a step child and I was a piece of crap to my step mother for years - and yeah my Dad did try to buy my affection. But you know what, she hung in there and hung in there and hung in even longer.....she wore my siblings and I out (lol) with her love and affection - and the fact that she was and is a great person She is a third parent to me now, because she loved me through thick and thin... This woman does not come actross and that kind of woman....My stepmom would never ever in a million years come on here and kvetched about us....but SHE would have sat me down and explained to ME how she felt and why is felt it wasn't in MY best interest to pay the cell phone bill.....because, contrary to this witch, she loved us as much as she did her own kids.... So go on with your own selfish bad selves. This woman doesn't give a tinkers damn about this kid because he wasn't real nice to her...and because his ex-wife was a hag to the husband (like somehow that is the kids fault) I just can't get over the fact that she said their life savings were used up by 21 years of child support....can anyone ANYONE on here justify that statement? No, you can't - that ONE SENTENCE tells me everything about her @ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted April 4, 2008 Report Share Posted April 4, 2008 I agree, the comment on the 21 years of child support just sticks in my craw. It is definitely the 'smoking gun' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest gambler Posted April 4, 2008 Report Share Posted April 4, 2008 I am the OP and I am agreeing with SOME of what you say. There is nothing wrong with helping your kids.I too have kids and have just added them to my family share plan. They asked, we discussed it,and they agreed and are paying their share of the bill. Is it too much to ask that a 21 year old college graduate pay at least his share of the bill? Our kids are the same age so dont even go there making excuses about wanting to help out his kid. Mine both work, and pay their own bills. They arent sleeping on their mommys couch they have their own place. The money isn't the issue because his father although not wealthy can afford 65 a month. I have an issue with it because he didnt ask, he just did it. By your response you sound a little bitter about second wives and step moms. Been screwed over yourself? How can you make the statement that no real mother mother would take the time to inform the public when you yourself are doing the same? Are you a REAL mother? So much for mature responses. People dont get it because they are not playing the same game. When you are a step parent you love your step kids the same but your line you have to tow is not the same as if they were your own and it is frustrating. You are right he should be made resposible to pay part or all of the bill on time that is being resopnsible which in the long wrong run is the right thing to do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted April 4, 2008 Report Share Posted April 4, 2008 But again, all this woman is doing is indulging herself in feeling victimized, allowing her sense of injustice run wild and feeling self pity, which is apparently not a new thing as she has resented the child support payments for years. I am sure that her attitude about his kids is clear as a bell to her husband and her own children as well as his. If ANYONE had an overall attitude about my children I would do the right thing....boot their self righteous 'tude and suitcases to the curb...not saying a step parent can't have a voice, but not an overall attitude of disgust, not in my life, who needs that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.