The path not taken.

[bloodthirst]

Ever wonder how your life would be different had you made different choices along the way? A beautiful day today left me pondering this.

[Guest Just Lookin]

Ever wonder how your life would be different had you made different choices along the way? A beautiful day today left me pondering this.

 

 

Absolutely! I wish I had many different choices several times now in hindsight. Can't turn back the clock so keep going forward is all you can do.

 

[Guest Guest]

Absolutely! I wish I had many different choices several times now in hindsight. Can't turn back the clock so keep going forward is all you can do.

 

 

know what you mean. Keep going and find that right person(s) for fun times and entertainment.

 

Time to go play some pool and have a few drinks. We'll have a good time. Wanta join? Same place.

[jmower71]

each path a person takes is all planned out in advanced from the day you are born ... cant twist fate, just hope its got good things in store for you

[bloodthirst]

each path a person takes is all planned out in advanced from the day you are born ... cant twist fate, just hope its got good things in store for you

 

Now you are opening a whole other can of worms. Fate? Free will? Guess I'll never know.

 

[tom]

Yes sir!!! I really screwed up by not putting that thousand dollars into Microsoft in 1985!!!

[bing4126]

" Life is what happens while we make other plans "

 

That statement belongs to John Lennon by the way ....

[Sleepless in Hillcrest]

I wish I hadn't pee'ed in Dr. Isreal Rosefsky's watering can in 1971. He fired me...somehow, I think my life could have been better. Another true story! It seemed funny at the time though.

[BingoNorthSider]

I wish I hadn't pee'ed in Dr. Isreal Rosefsky's watering can in 1971. He fired me...somehow, I think my life could have been better. Another true story! It seemed funny at the time though.

 

 

Looks who's back

[Sleepless in Hillcrest]

Looks who's back

 

I never went anywhere. I've just been depressed lately and I've openly admitted it. Such is life. We all have our ups and downs, and I shared my downs on the board...obviously, it was a big mistake on my part. To the OP, I can give you a dozen examples of the wrong path I took thru life... like dating the cousin of my girlfriend. I was 16 and Lori had the hand grip of Johnny Bench....I couldn't walk for a week!

 

 

@

[Guest country girl2]

Absolutely, there are many things that I would have done differently... but the only thing we can do now is make the best of what we have, or change things if you are not happy with the way things are.

[Saturday'sChild]

Have wondered that a few times. Always end up realizing that any other path chosen would have resulted in a different daughter so there's never any regrets. I believe everything had to be exactly as it happened - good and bad - in order for her to be her and have her special gifts of a good heart, intelligence, voice and beauty. Everything is connected. Wouldn't change a thing and think most of us wouldn't change our kids either. Does this make sense ? Anyone feel the same? Maybe I'm just kidding myself.

Ok - it's late and I'm tired and getting too serious. Good night girls andd boys.

 

 

@

[Guest Di's ex]

Absolutely, there are many things that I would have done differently... but the only thing we can do now is make the best of what we have, or change things if you are not happy with the way things are.

 

 

That's exactly what I did recently. I told my girlfriend a few times in the past that I didn't like being "put on a shelf".

She did it again.

 

I ended it between us. I didn't like doing it. I don't like not having her around. But I won't accept playing ninth or tenth fiddle and being "picked up" if and when it's convenient for her and her alone.

 

I waited about 7 years for her to get her act together. She's further away from it now than ever. That's a bad sign. Maybe someday when she decides what she wants, she'll come and tell me and we can have a normal relationship. I'm not counting on it because I dont' think she has it in her. She doesn't know what she wants and she wouldn't know how to get it or ask for it even if she did.

 

I changed it because I was unhappy with the constant drama. I can handle, and expect, some drama. But I need some of the good stuff to balance it out, to make it worth spending the time and energy dealing with the drama.

[Sleepless in Hillcrest]

That's exactly what I did recently. I told my girlfriend a few times in the past that I didn't like being "put on a shelf".

She did it again.

 

I ended it between us. I didn't like doing it. I don't like not having her around. But I won't accept playing ninth or tenth fiddle and being "picked up" if and when it's convenient for her and her alone.

 

I waited about 7 years for her to get her act together. She's further away from it now than ever. That's a bad sign. Maybe someday when she decides what she wants, she'll come and tell me and we can have a normal relationship. I'm not counting on it because I dont' think she has it in her. She doesn't know what she wants and she wouldn't know how to get it or ask for it even if she did.

 

I changed it because I was unhappy with the constant drama. I can handle, and expect, some drama. But I need some of the good stuff to balance it out, to make it worth spending the time and energy dealing with the drama.

 

 

After waiting for nearly 3 and a half years for the love of my life to reconsider, I've finally decided to grant her a divorce and move on... I still have a life to live. I was becoming increasingly depressed lately and finally said "the hell with it", enough is enough...and I'm moving on. She doesn't want to share her life with me anymore? Her loss in the end because I'm a good person. My advice to you, having lived it....Life is waaaaay to short! Move along!!!

 

[Guest Di's ex]

After waiting for nearly 3 and a half years for the love of my life to reconsider, I've finally decided to grant her a divorce and move on... I still have a life to live. I was becoming increasingly depressed lately and finally said "the hell with it", enough is enough...and I'm moving on. She doesn't want to share her life with me anymore? Her loss in the end because I'm a good person. My advice to you, having lived it....Life is waaaaay to short! Move along!!!

 

That's exactly what I was thinking when I told her "no more, enough is enough."

I'm the best man she's ever had the pleasure of being with. She told me that herself. I knew it before she told me, anyways.

 

I like peace, stability and serenity in my life. When I looked back over the last 7 years, I could see that her being uncertainty and inability to decide was adding to my stress and not to my happiness.

 

Some people will tell you they love you. They just don't have the capacity to show you with their actions, at least not with any regularity or consistency. I refuse to be left hanging for one more day by someone like that. It'll never happen again, either, I can guarantee you that.

[Sleepless in Hillcrest]

That's exactly what I was thinking when I told her "no more, enough is enough."

I'm the best man she's ever had the pleasure of being with. She told me that herself. I knew it before she told me, anyways.

 

I like peace, stability and serenity in my life. When I looked back over the last 7 years, I could see that her being uncertainty and inability to decide was adding to my stress and not to my happiness.

 

Some people will tell you they love you. They just don't have the capacity to show you with their actions, at least not with any regularity or consistency. I refuse to be left hanging for one more day by someone like that. It'll never happen again, either, I can guarantee you that.

 

After 25 years together, and 3 apart, it finally dawned on me that we never, ever, laughed together...such an important part of my being that had been missing for so long. I've just started to learn how to smile again in the last couple of weeks, and it feels real, real, good! Time to move on young man. I laugh when I see all the threads on here talking about the "players" out there, taking advantage of the single women around here. If the ladies only knew how many of us "real" men sit home alone broken hearted, it'd make their heads spin!

 

[Guest Di's ex]

After 25 years together, and 3 apart, it finally dawned on me that we never, ever, laughed together...such an important part of my being that had been missing for so long. I've just started to learn how to smile again in the last couple of weeks, and it feels real, real, good! Time to move on young man. I laugh when I see all the threads on here talking about the "players" out there, taking advantage of the single women around here. If the ladies only knew how many of us "real" men sit home alone broken hearted, it'd make their heads spin!

 

 

You couldn't possibly be more correct. The ladies love to whine about how they can't find a decent man. What they can't figure out is that we don't look like the Harrison Ford movie star, tall, dark, handsome action hero they are so drawn to.

After they've been through their share of the "bad boy" types, and discover that they can't fix or change them, all they left is us normal looking, normal dressing, respectful man-next-door types.

 

I'll tell you what I've learned from this. I will never again give any woman an open ended timeline to date me and not make a serious committment. One day turned into the next, and the next thing I knew, years had flown by. I'll give a woman 6 months to make up her mind that she wants to be with me. If she doesn't know by then, she'll never know.

 

And....I'm not a "young man" to you. I'm your age. I'm at a place in my life where I know exactly what I want. I've matured to the point where I know I'll have to pick someone who isn't a Barbie doll, or doesn't have a killer bod and magazine cover face. I'm ok with that.

 

I'm not sitting home broken hearted. I choose to spend most of free time at home. I have things to do that entertain me. I don't hang out in bars and don't cruise Wegman's trying to pick up MILF's. Not that I don't think about it while I'm there.

 

I just got two dogs and I'm enjoying their company. If there's a woman out there who's ok with me being 52, financially stable, owner of my own house, and can handle being treated nicely AND won't go running out the door just because I'm not the thrill a minute type that I was when I was 24 and wild, I'm here and available.

 

In the meantime, I'll be living my life, doing what I want to do and not having to answer or account to anyone. Come to think of it, that sounds so good, why would I want to give that up?

 

Here's my two:

http://s298.photobucket.com/albums/mm265/g...k=nav_tab_album

[Sleepless in Hillcrest]

You couldn't possibly be more correct. The ladies love to whine about how they can't find a decent man. What they can't figure out is that we don't look like the Harrison Ford movie star, tall, dark, handsome action hero they are so drawn to.

After they've been through their share of the "bad boy" types, and discover that they can't fix or change them, all they left is us normal looking, normal dressing, respectful man-next-door types.

 

I'll tell you what I've learned from this. I will never again give any woman an open ended timeline to date me and not make a serious committment. One day turned into the next, and the next thing I knew, years had flown by. I'll give a woman 6 months to make up her mind that she wants to be with me. If she doesn't know by then, she'll never know.

 

And....I'm not a "young man" to you. I'm your age. I'm at a place in my life where I know exactly what I want. I've matured to the point where I know I'll have to pick someone who isn't a Barbie doll, or doesn't have a killer bod and magazine cover face. I'm ok with that.

 

I'm not sitting home broken hearted. I choose to spend most of free time at home. I have things to do that entertain me. I don't hang out in bars and don't cruise Wegman's trying to pick up MILF's. Not that I don't think about it while I'm there.

 

I just got two dogs and I'm enjoying their company. If there's a woman out there who's ok with me being 52, financially stable, owner of my own house, and can handle being treated nicely AND won't go running out the door just because I'm not the thrill a minute type that I was when I was 24 and wild, I'm here and available.

 

In the meantime, I'll be living my life, doing what I want to do and not having to answer or account to anyone. Come to think of it, that sounds so good, why would I want to give that up?

 

Here's my two:

http://s298.photobucket.com/albums/mm265/g...k=nav_tab_album

 

 

Wow, I've discovered my twin brother on BCV, except I got four dogs and a cat named Petey. Can you get prosecuted in NY state for strangling a cat?? He is totally full of mischief, but I love him. I too am 52, haven't been to a bar in 25 years and wouldn't know what to do if I got there. I'm completely out of touch, and horrified at the prospect. I keep saying that I'll walk the rest of the way alone in life, but I'm not so sure. I'd love to have a soulmate by my side, to hold my hand!

 

[dingbat]

we never, ever, laughed together...

 

That, I could not live with. I love my husband very much, that's important, but I don't think it is as important as like.

We really like each other and have a lot of fun together. If we didn't laugh, I couldn't stand that.

 

I'm glad I took this path.

 

[Guest Guest]

Wow, I've discovered my twin brother on BCV, except I got four dogs and a cat named Petey. Can you get prosecuted in NY state for strangling a cat?? He is totally full of mischief, but I love him. I too am 52, haven't been to a bar in 25 years and wouldn't know what to do if I got there. I'm completely out of touch, and horrified at the prospect. I keep saying that I'll walk the rest of the way alone in life, but I'm not so sure. I'd love to have a soulmate by my side, to hold my hand!

 

I'd like to have one as well. I, too, was married and divorced more than 10 years ago.

 

You're not missing one single thing by not going to bars.

I've met and dated a handful of women in bars over the years, and, without exception, they all turned out to be enormous flakes. Even the ones who go to church regularly on Sunday. Even the ones who don't go to bars often.

 

I've met a few whacky chicks here online, too. Seems like an epidemic. My theory is the older we (and they) get, the more baggage they're carrying around, and the more bizzarre they act. One thing they've perfected is how to "blame the man" for everything, after being in marriages and live-in situations with guys who really are jerks and worse.

 

I've resigned myself to living the rest of my days alone. I have realized that I can't constantly hold onto a hope that may never happen and keep waiting and waiting and.........

 

I work daily on finding ways to be happy with me and my life without a woman around. Some days are better than others.

 

Some things I don't miss. Like having to share the bed, the fights, the uncomfortable silence after a fight, having to confer with someone else whenever I make any decision to do something, go somewhere, etc.

 

Some things I do miss. I doubt I have to tell you what they are. I'm spring cleaning now and it sure would be nice to only be doing half of it, instead of all.

 

If I find someone, I'll consider it icing on the cake. In the meantime, I've still got my cake. It's a fairly good life. I'm not constantly struggling for money, even though my job isn't very secure right now. I don't have any major health problems and I try to stay in decent shape (not easy at our age).

 

All the people I used to hang with in my 20's and 30's are all family men now, so I don't have much of an active social life. I've made adjustments. I just got a little recording studio at my house, and that's fun.

 

 

@

[Sleepless in Hillcrest]

I'd like to have one as well. I, too, was married and divorced more than 10 years ago.

 

You're not missing one single thing by not going to bars.

I've met and dated a handful of women in bars over the years, and, without exception, they all turned out to be enormous flakes. Even the ones who go to church regularly on Sunday. Even the ones who don't go to bars often.

 

I've met a few whacky chicks here online, too. Seems like an epidemic. My theory is the older we (and they) get, the more baggage they're carrying around, and the more bizzarre they act. One thing they've perfected is how to "blame the man" for everything, after being in marriages and live-in situations with guys who really are jerks and worse.

 

I've resigned myself to living the rest of my days alone. I have realized that I can't constantly hold onto a hope that may never happen and keep waiting and waiting and.........

 

I work daily on finding ways to be happy with me and my life without a woman around. Some days are better than others.

 

Some things I don't miss. Like having to share the bed, the fights, the uncomfortable silence after a fight, having to confer with someone else whenever I make any decision to do something, go somewhere, etc.

 

Some things I do miss. I doubt I have to tell you what they are. I'm spring cleaning now and it sure would be nice to only be doing half of it, instead of all.

 

If I find someone, I'll consider it icing on the cake. In the meantime, I've still got my cake. It's a fairly good life. I'm not constantly struggling for money, even though my job isn't very secure right now. I don't have any major health problems and I try to stay in decent shape (not easy at our age).

 

All the people I used to hang with in my 20's and 30's are all family men now, so I don't have much of an active social life. I've made adjustments. I just got a little recording studio at my house, and that's fun.

 

God bless you...there are a lot of us in the same boat. When we walk our final miles in life, take comfort that many of us will join you, and we can all walk together. That's my biggest scare...walking the rest of the way through life alone.

 

[Guest Guest]

God bless you...there are a lot of us in the same boat. When we walk our final miles in life, take comfort that many of us will join you, and we can all walk together. That's my biggest scare...walking the rest of the way through life alone.

 

I'm not real happy about the thought and I'd rather not, but I know it's a distinct possibility now, and I've accepted it.

I won't go as far as to say it scares me. I hear you, though.

 

In the meantime, check out those Youtube videos that someone posted on a different thread of the Leningrad Cowboys. Those will take your mind off things for awhile.

[Guest Guest]

I'll also tell you this, Sleepless.

 

As you enter the dating scene (if you do), keep this in mind.

Women our age have been through a bad marriage. Some have been through several.

When they hit their 40's and beyond, they get out of their marriages with some pretty hurt feelings. Their egos are scarred. They often have deep insecurities, but usually act as if they don't to hide them.

 

Some of these women are terrified to commit to a man again. They're afraid it will end in yet another disaster. They won't tell you this. You'll have to figure it out.

 

They'll act all normal while you're dating. If you get into an exclusive boyfriend/girlfriend thing with an insecure one, she may find reasons to break it off, usually early on. Of course, they'll have a laundry list of your faults to pin it on.

 

After awhile, she'll start to sniff around again and let you back in. She may have realized she made a mistake and will ask you if you can forgive her acting as she did. That's fine. Give her one second chance.

 

There are those women, however, who are looking to just use you to bolster their bruised egos. They will reel you in, hang for awhile, and then break it off. They will want you to chase them again. They'll allow themselves to be "caught" and then break it off again. All they want is to be chased. It makes them feel wanted and sexy and desireable.

 

These women are NOT keepers. They will do the on-again, off-again thing until you wise up. Often, they'll be doing the same thing with one or more other men when they're not with you.

 

I've spent the last 12 or so years watching this one play out with a small handful of women. They're all happy when you're chasing them. When you hit a rough patch (like a few fights), they'll unload you in a flash. They don't really want to do the hard work that's required to grow and maintain a decent relationship.

 

My rule: Break it off once, I'll take you back. Break it off twice, you're out.

There was a time when I only gave them one chance. I backed off that policy and it bit me in the butt. Now they get two chances before they're toast.

 

 

@

[Sleepless in Hillcrest]

I'll also tell you this, Sleepless.

 

As you enter the dating scene (if you do), keep this in mind.

Women our age have been through a bad marriage. Some have been through several.

When they hit their 40's and beyond, they get out of their marriages with some pretty hurt feelings. Their egos are scarred. They often have deep insecurities, but usually act as if they don't to hide them.

 

Some of these women are terrified to commit to a man again. They're afraid it will end in yet another disaster. They won't tell you this. You'll have to figure it out.

 

They'll act all normal while you're dating. If you get into an exclusive boyfriend/girlfriend thing with an insecure one, she may find reasons to break it off, usually early on. Of course, they'll have a laundry list of your faults to pin it on.

 

After awhile, she'll start to sniff around again and let you back in. She may have realized she made a mistake and will ask you if you can forgive her acting as she did. That's fine. Give her one second chance.

 

There are those women, however, who are looking to just use you to bolster their bruised egos. They will reel you in, hang for awhile, and then break it off. They will want you to chase them again. They'll allow themselves to be "caught" and then break it off again. All they want is to be chased. It makes them feel wanted and sexy and desireable.

 

These women are NOT keepers. They will do the on-again, off-again thing until you wise up. Often, they'll be doing the same thing with one or more other men when they're not with you.

 

I've spent the last 12 or so years watching this one play out with a small handful of women. They're all happy when you're chasing them. When you hit a rough patch (like a few fights), they'll unload you in a flash. They don't really want to do the hard work that's required to grow and maintain a decent relationship.

 

My rule: Break it off once, I'll take you back. Break it off twice, you're out.

There was a time when I only gave them one chance. I backed off that policy and it bit me in the butt. Now they get two chances before they're toast.

 

 

@

 

I agree with you 100%!

 

[Kermit]

To be fair, both sexes play that game. I have been out with a lot of guys who have too much "baggage" from past relationships and do the yo-yo thing. They just can't commit. I agree with you on how frustrating it is though, and totally agree with not giving more than a second chance.

 

 

@