The path not taken.

[bloodthirst]

Don't feel too bad guys. My father used to say women are like busses. If one passes you by another will come along. If you are a strong independent man, the women will seek you out.

[Guest Guest]

Don't feel too bad guys. My father used to say women are like busses. If one passes you by another will come along. If you are a strong independent man, the women will seek you out.

 

I'm certainly independent.

I'm also strong of character. Integrity is important to me. I don't make a show of it.

 

Women seem to prefer men who overact a fake confidence. I used to work for a man like that. He talked a fantastic game. It was all lies. He lied to everyone. The women went nuts for him.

 

My confidence stems partly from knowing my capacity to make mistakes. Who you see is pretty much who I am. Women would rather see someone act like they're somebody else. The "genuine article" isn't very thrilling or sexy to them.

[Guest Guest]

To be fair, both sexes play that game. I have been out with a lot of guys who have too much "baggage" from past relationships and do the yo-yo thing. They just can't commit. I agree with you on how frustrating it is though, and totally agree with not giving more than a second chance.

 

 

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No doubt. I've seen the fear of committment on both sides.

 

I was just trying to relate to Sleepy what I've learned in my 40's. The odd thing is that these women who just wanted to be chased were, by all appearances, good people. They had good, responsible kids, good jobs, a house, no weird or bizzarre behaviors.

 

They had just been beaten down by their ex's. I don't doubt they got their licks in, too. The shame is that it's us follow-up guys who have to pay the price for the jerks.

 

I realized I had a choice:

I could either act like a jerk (like the men who get the women) or continue to be the decent, honest, clean living man I am.

 

I ended up choosing Door #3. I gave up. I haven't had a date in a few years. I haven't asked a woman out in more years than that.

 

I've gotten to where I just don't care. I don't miss the nagging that comes with lots of women. Some of them love to start fights so they can vent anger that belongs elsewhere. It also gets them to "make-up sex", which, as we all know, is the very best kind.

 

I'd rather just have the make-up sex and skip the fight beforehand. Why can't I find a woman who sees it that way too?

[cupkate]

I don't think you guys will go through life alone. You'll meet someone someday when it's totally unexpected. I was working at a bar when I met my fiancee, who had said the same things you guys are saying. He was 52 and divorced and resigned to the fact that he would be single forever. Then one night we met and spent every single day of the rest of his life together. So it could happen when you least expect it.

[Guest Guest]

I agree with you 100%!

 

I was out walking my dogs awhile ago and another thought came to me. I bring to you today a tale of caution, friend.

 

Beware the woman who says "I can be a real bi*ch" and then laughs, like she's joking.

 

She's not joking.

 

In fact, she's telling you the truth. She not only CAN be one, she IS one. I've had two women tell me that in the last 4 years. Turns out they were two of the most selfish, self centered, narcissitic people I've ever met. If it didn't go their way, you were gone. I had to do all the compromising. I had to change my whole schedule to fit theirs.

 

If you are dating a woman who tells you that, at any stage of the dating process, consider it last rites. It'll just be a matter of time. That is, unless you LIKE bi*chy women who expect you to cave to their every feeling, thought and whim.

 

I don't.

 

[Guest Guest]

I don't think you guys will go through life alone. You'll meet someone someday when it's totally unexpected. I was working at a bar when I met my fiancee, who had said the same things you guys are saying. He was 52 and divorced and resigned to the fact that he would be single forever. Then one night we met and spent every single day of the rest of his life together. So it could happen when you least expect it.

 

I hate to come off all negative, but Im gonna anyways.

 

I'll be nice because I know you just lost him.

 

It's my opinion that the "love comes when you least expect it to" thing is overplayed and a bit trite.

It's not like I wake up each day and decide that I'm going to or not going to expect love to come to me today.

 

On one level, the saying just doesn't make sense.

 

Who really expects that next Tuesday they'll meet the love of their life?

 

When I say I've given up, I mean I've given up expecting to find someone and given up not expecting to find someone.

I've just given up and am working diligently on being happy alone. It's not easier or harder than being happy in a relationship, it's just different. There's things to like and things not to like, just like when you're with someone.

 

Ex: I get up, put my shoes on and leave whenever I want to and for as long as I want to. I don't have to tell someone I'm leaving, where I'm going or when I'll be back.

 

Same with my money. I spend it how, when and where I want to, and I don't have to consider how what I spend will affect anyone else.

 

I like that.

 

 

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[2pelo Honey]

And then there's the other side of the coin...men who have been beaten down by their ex's - some carry more of the baggage than others.

 

I have to agree, not alot of fun to deal w/, and I have also just kind of put that to the back burner.

 

To the poster that mentioned a woman stating she "could be a real b*tch"...and then was, well, anyone who mentions a lil tidbit like that, you should plan on it being magnified.

 

I have never, ever, in my life, started a fight just for "make up sex"...why on earth wouldn't your goal just be plain ole good sex?

 

Bottom line is...I think dating at this age just plain sucks.

 

 

 

 

 

[Kermit]

I'd have to say dating at my age sucks too!

[Guest Guest]

To the poster that mentioned a woman stating she "could be a real b*tch"...and then was, well, anyone who mentions a lil tidbit like that, you should plan on it being magnified.

 

I have no idea what you mean by that.

All I said was that, in recent years, two women said the exact same thing early on in our dating, followed by a half hearted laugh, as if she were just kidding. Neither of them were, as I later found out. They were both extremely selfish and acted very childish if they didn't get their way.

 

 

I have never, ever, in my life, started a fight just for "make up sex"...why on earth wouldn't your goal just be plain ole good sex?

 

Ok. So you haven't. Trust me, it happens way more than you'd think. Of course, a woman would never admit that to any man. Most of them probably aren't even aware they're doing that, so they probably don't even admit it to their friends or sisters.

 

 

 

Bottom line is...I think dating at this age just plain sucks.

 

On that we agree 100%. I think it's this area more than our age. If there were a bigger dating pool of decent, normal people and a few better places to meet them, we'd feel differently about it.

 

 

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[Guest Guest]

There's things to like and things not to like, just like when you're with someone.

 

Ex: I get up, put my shoes on and leave whenever I want to and for as long as I want to. I don't have to tell someone I'm leaving, where I'm going or when I'll be back.

 

Same with my money. I spend it how, when and where I want to, and I don't have to consider how what I spend will affect anyone else.

 

I like that.

 

 

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I almost forgot......

One of the great things about being a single man living alone is that I can lay around at night in some stinky old t shirt without getting nagged about what I'm wearing. My dogs still love me no matter what I have on.

 

That's one reason a dog is better than a woman....they love you no matter how you look.

 

Actually I just remembered that because the shirt I had on was pretty ripe......even too ripe for me. I just changed it. But not because some woman thought I should. Big difference there.

[Guest BABY OF FAMILY]

I REGRET MOVING OUT OF MY PARENTS HOUSE AT AN EARLY AGE BECAUSE OF MY FOOLISH PRIDE. I SHOULD HAVE STAYED AND SAVED MORE MONEY FOR MY FUTURE. NOW I AM SUFFERING THE FINANCIAL DIFFICULTIES IT CREATED. I WAS ONLY 40 WHEN I MOVED OUT. WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO DO THINGS OVER?

[BlackSven]

God bless you...there are a lot of us in the same boat. When we walk our final miles in life, take comfort that many of us will join you, and we can all walk together. That's my biggest scare...walking the rest of the way through life alone.

 

 

 

The only person you have to live with the rest of your life is yourself.

 

Better to be alone and content them with someone and miserable.

 

 

 

[BlackSven]

Don't feel too bad guys. My father used to say women are like busses. If one passes you by another will come along. If you are a strong independent man, the women will seek you out.

 

 

I agree. Stop looking and one will find you......

 

 

Women know when you are looking and the good ones will avoid you like the plague

 

 

 

[2pelo Honey]

I almost forgot......

One of the great things about being a single man living alone is that I can lay around at night in some stinky old t shirt without getting nagged about what I'm wearing. My dogs still love me no matter what I have on.

 

That's one reason a dog is better than a woman....they love you no matter how you look.

 

Actually I just remembered that because the shirt I had on was pretty ripe......even too ripe for me. I just changed it. But not because some woman thought I should. Big difference there.

 

 

I think you might just be pushing your own envelope JUST a tad at this point.

[Hunter]

Ever wonder how your life would be different had you made different choices along the way? A beautiful day today left me pondering this.

 

No, I don't wonder how my life would be different had I made different choices along the way. I am quite content with my life now and I always have been. My glass has always been half full and it always will be. Sometimes I miss my youth but I don't want to be young again either. Life is short ya'll, make the best of it that ya'll can.

 

 

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