Obituaries

[Guest Guest]

Have you ever taken the time to read the obituaries in the paper? How long is long enough to run an obituary?

There is a man (I dont know him) who has had an obituary in the paper since MARCH 26th. That was 30 days ago. He isnt going to have a memorial until May10th. I guess it will run until then. After reading it over and over for 30 days I feel we are old friends and I should be there.

 

My father died 4 years ago and I ran an obituary for 3 days It was expensive! Of course it is the families money but couldnt it have served a better purpose by donating what was spent on the obituary to a hospice unit or a homeless shelter? Why do people spend so much money on the deceased.

[Guest Guest]

Have you ever taken the time to read the obituaries in the paper? How long is long enough to run an obituary?

There is a man (I dont know him) who has had an obituary in the paper since MARCH 26th. That was 30 days ago. He isnt going to have a memorial until May10th. I guess it will run until then. After reading it over and over for 30 days I feel we are old friends and I should be there.

 

My father died 4 years ago and I ran an obituary for 3 days It was expensive! Of course it is the families money but couldnt it have served a better purpose by donating what was spent on the obituary to a hospice unit or a homeless shelter? Why do people spend so much money on the deceased.

 

 

 

The real question is -- why do you keep reading it??? And why the need to criticize someone for not doing what YOU think they should do? Why do living people spend so much time obsessing about dead people they do not even know?

[Guest still alive]

The real question is -- why do you keep reading it??? And why the need to criticize someone for not doing what YOU think they should do? Why do living people spend so much time obsessing about dead people they do not even know?

 

 

Yes, the obituary in the newspaper is very expensive. For a long one, the whole column top to bottom is about $500.

 

Everything about a funeral is expensive. If you don't want to pay $10,000 to $12,000 for a casket that will go in the ground the next day, cremation is MUCH less, like a third of the cost. And yes, it is OK by the Roman Catholic Church to have cremains (that's what the ashes are called) in the church for Mass. The funeral directors say that the Church URGES you to have the body present, but it is not required. The funeral directors prefer that you have a casket for church and THEN have the cremation. Yeah, right, this will cost a lot more. When they show you the list of arrangements that can be made, remember that you do not have to have a limo or anything you do not want.

[Guest FUNNY ONE]

I remember Ms. Goldberg - when her husband died she called the paper and started to read off a real long obituary she wrote up. After about 500 words the press representative told her the cost and she did not believe how much it was. She said she thought the obituaries were Free -- when he said no they are based on the number of words she said she wanted to edit the obituary to say "Goldberg is dead Cadillac for Sale!"

 

 

I guess that is an oldie but still a goodie. HE HE

[2pelo Honey]

Funny, I didn't notice any obits in today's paper that were from March.

[Guest Guest]

Funny, I didn't notice any obits in today's paper that were from March.

 

 

Hoch

[Guest Guest]

YOU PEOPLE NEED TO GET A LIFE

[Guest Grim Reader]

I noticed there is a memorial piece that is suppose to run from March to May. Enough already!

 

 

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[Guest Guest]

An obituary in the paper to announce the calling hours and the funeral arrangements is one thing Some of these are just plain ridiculous. They go on and on telling their life story. Don't you think anyone who knew them already knows that? Half the time the crap that is in the obituary and said at the eulogy is just that, crap. Have you ever heard anyone say he was a miserable bastard, a drunk, and we're better off with out him? Do you think people aren't thinking that? Death like holidays is so commercial. Its all about money and impressing people The deceased won't read his obituary. I am pretty sure they wont know if it is in the paper 2 months or not at all. Same with the kind of box they are buried in I am sure they would much rather the money spent be put to better use. Give it to the living someone who benefits from it. Are you people on some guilt trip? Do you think a huge obituary or an expensive box will bring them back?buys you a place in heaven? do you think you look better in other peoples eyes? A "proper send off"is just another chance to party. Spend that money on something or someone that will make a difference. Spend it on the living not the dead.

 

[Carol and Mike]

When we placed the O-Bit for our son when he died, we placed it for 3 days and the total was a little over 400 bucks. We did not put a lot of info in it, just basic family members and service information.

 

The "death notice" itself is free, but the "death notice" is only the persons name. The O-Bit is where the information is given as to family members and services.

 

Every newspaper in the country charge's for O-Bits, and although we also feel it's a scam to take advantage at a tragic time, we do understand that the newpapers are also a business.

 

When making out the O-Bit for someone, the only suggestion we can give it to keep it short, and to the point. Life history is not really needed as those who read it would already know this information.

[Guest guest]

Maybe what the survivors place in the obituary makes THEM feel better and if so, what business is it of yours? Is it your money being used? If the obit helps those grieving, in only a way that THEY know, I say make it as long as they want and put as much as they want in it. If you don't like it, don't read it! It's really none of your concern.

[Guest Guest]

Maybe what the survivors place in the obituary makes THEM feel better and if so, what business is it of yours? Is it your money being used? If the obit helps those grieving, in only a way that THEY know, I say make it as long as they want and put as much as they want in it. If you don't like it, don't read it! It's really none of your concern.

 

 

Like I said, it is all about appearances. And no one really cares especially if they didn't know the person to begin with. I am sure I am not the only person who glances at the size (I dont even bother reading it) and says what a waste of money.

I am sure they are doing it to make themselves better.

I do check the obituaries every day and notice when someone is in there for weeks at a time.

[Auntie M.]

Like I said, it is all about appearances. And no one really cares especially if they didn't know the person to begin with. I am sure I am not the only person who glances at the size (I dont even bother reading it) and says what a waste of money.

I am sure they are doing it to make themselves better.

I do check the obituaries every day and notice when someone is in there for weeks at a time.

 

Once again, why does this even concern you? It's not your money paying for it! I'm sure in a lot of cases it has nothing to do with "appearances", as you put it. It's called grief and grief is something that has to be worked through and the way it's worked through is unique to every individual. So, if you don't know the deceased or the family of the deceased, or if the length of the obituary bothers you that much, just skip over it. It's that simple.

[Guest Guest]

Once again, why does this even concern you? It's not your money paying for it! I'm sure in a lot of cases it has nothing to do with "appearances", as you put it. It's called grief and grief is something that has to be worked through and the way it's worked through is unique to every individual. So, if you don't know the deceased or the family of the deceased, or if the length of the obituary bothers you that much, just skip over it. It's that simple.

 

Instead of feeling sorry for themselves, if they were really grieving the loss of their loved one and want them to be remembered then why wouldn't they want to do something in memory of their loved one? The thousand dollars they spent on the obit could make a nice contribution to the cancer, heart, or diabetes foundation.

 

[Auntie M.]

Instead of feeling sorry for themselves, if they were really grieving the loss of their loved one and want them to be remembered then why wouldn't they want to do something in memory of their loved one? The thousand dollars they spent on the obit could make a nice contribution to the cancer, heart, or diabetes foundation.

How can you be so sure that a sizeable contribution was not made to one's personal choice of charity in addition to running what ever obituary they deemed appropriate? One is not exclusive of the other.

Again, how one handles their grief is a personal matter. It's not necessarily a matter of anyone feeling sorry for themselves. I wouldn't be so quick to judge others unless you've been through it personally.

[Guest Guest]

I am guilty of reading the obits. My boyfriend calls me morbid. I enjoy reading about other people's lives and accomplishments. You'll never find anything bad written about a person in their obit, just the positives.

[grammy838]

I am guilty of reading the obits. My boyfriend calls me morbid. I enjoy reading about other people's lives and accomplishments. You'll never find anything bad written about a person in their obit, just the positives.

 

 

I'm guilty of this as well. I read them daily. That is actually the first thing I do every morning when I get online. I don't know why. If the Obit is too long, unintersting or what ever, I just quit reading it. What di I care how much someone else payed for an Obit that I get to read for free. It doesn't cost me a penny unless I buy the newspaper and read it. But even then, I didn't pay for the Obit.

[Guest Guest]

How can you be so sure that a sizeable contribution was not made to one's personal choice of charity in addition to running what ever obituary they deemed appropriate? One is not exclusive of the other.

Again, how one handles their grief is a personal matter. It's not necessarily a matter of anyone feeling sorry for themselves. I wouldn't be so quick to judge others unless you've been through it personally.

 

I have.... so I guess I could, but I am not, just posing a question. you made it personal. I personally think if you want to pay your respects to a loved one that the money could be better spent on someone living or on research. An obit is to announce the death and the arrangements. Some of these are turning into autobiographies.

[grammy838]

I have.... so I guess I could, but I am not, just posing a question. you made it personal. I personally think if you want to pay your respects to a loved one that the money could be better spent on someone living or on research. An obit is to announce the death and the arrangements. Some of these are turning into autobiographies.

 

 

But it's not YOUR money they spend. I think that it speaks volumes about what a giving person you are. (Honestly)But it is not your money these people are spending. Let them spend it the way they want to and you spend and pay your respects in what ever way you want to. Some of them are also pre-written by the deceased themselves. I think it is very disrespectful NOT to use the pre-written one if they have taken the time to write it for the family and take the burden off from that family member who would have other wise had to write one.

[Guest Guest]

But it's not YOUR money they spend. I think that it speaks volumes about what a giving person you are. (Honestly)But it is not your money these people are spending. Let them spend it the way they want to and you spend and pay your respects in what ever way you want to. Some of them are also pre-written by the deceased themselves. I think it is very disrespectful NOT to use the pre-written one if they have taken the time to write it for the family and take the burden off from that family member who would have other wise had to write one.

 

That or they just have a huge ego

 

[Auntie M.]

I have.... so I guess I could, but I am not, just posing a question. you made it personal. I personally think if you want to pay your respects to a loved one that the money could be better spent on someone living or on research. An obit is to announce the death and the arrangements. Some of these are turning into autobiographies.

Well, my friend, I guess we're going to have to agree to disagree. My condolences on your loss(es) and if you or whoever was reponsible for writing the obituary chose not to write an "autobiography" about your loved one(s) I certainly respect that decision. That was your personal choice and I respect that. On the other hand, I also respect those who do chose to write however much they wish in order to honor their loved one in their own way. I don't think it's yours or my business how much or how little one wishes to spend on an announcement - to each their own I say, and certainly no need to put someone down because their way disagrees with yours. Again, it's a personal matter.

[Auntie M.]

That or they just have a huge ego

Yes, I'm sure that's EXACTLY what it is!

 

 

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[Tazz]

Well, my friend, I guess we're going to have to agree to disagree. My condolences on your loss(es) and if you or whoever was reponsible for writing the obituary chose not to write an "autobiography" about your loved one(s) I certainly respect that decision. That was your personal choice and I respect that. On the other hand, I also respect those who do chose to write however much they wish in order to honor their loved one in their own way. I don't think it's yours or my business how much or how little one wishes to spend on an announcement - to each their own I say, and certainly no need to put someone down because their way disagrees with yours. Again, it's a personal matter.

 

 

Our family puts alot of info in the obits as it helps preserve the information for future generations. While it is true (as somebody said earlier) that anybody who knew the person would already know the info in the obit, it is also true that 2 or 3 generations from now they may only have the obit clipping to look back on.

 

 

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