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Sleepless in Hillcrest

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LMAO...what are you that hard up?

 

You can't speak english, go back to your own homeland....

 

 

 

 

"translated"

I am available for a price. I speak the clean well salts French and of I!

 

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Guest applicant
I just reviewed the nurses's pictures that she emailed me. A very attractive woman, but I'm not sure she's a natural blonde! Plus that bowling ball thing doesn't look normal.

 

Well a blonde w/ highlights...that doesnt count? Ya know I REALLY REALLY want the job!! Ps the bowling ball is just part of who I am!! What is abnormal about my ball...bowling ball that is??

 

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Cleaning lady

 

One day a week (preferrably Wednesday, because that's "hump"day)

 

35-55 years old

 

110 to 150 pounds

 

Must be able to operate a Eureka vacuum cleaner, totally nude with black hi heels (not the vacuum cleaner...the applicant)

 

Apron is optional, if you speak French.

 

Must posess a high level of tolerance to cigarette ashes, black toilets, pug residue, and food kinda stuff on the counters. Should be well qualified in "shouting out" skidmarks in boxer shorts and wet fart stains on the couch. Background in trimming back hair is a plus. Only qualified applicants should apply. High pay, could lead to a full time position! Must be self motivated and able to lift 25 pounds.

 

Sleepless....I cannot BELIEVE that you had the temerity to make this post. How disgusting.

 

First of all, you discriminate based on age. Hot old people that look good in a French Maid outfit should be excluded, based on your somewhat random preferences?

 

Then you discriminate against the horizontally-challenged. 109 pounds is not OK, nor 151 pounds, when the difference may be a simple matter of ear-wax accumulation? So sad. You should be ashamed.

 

A Eureka vacuum? Any totally nude high-heeled cleaning lady of my acquiantance brings her own vacuum to the party, complete with various special and very interesting attachments. You'll NEVER get quality with all of your imposed limitations.

 

As far as the 25 pound thing goes.....you flatter yourself ;)

 

 

@

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:blink: I'm thinking if I DONT get this job, perhaps Frodo will hire me...any suggestions>?

My application is still being reviewed at this time.... Y oh Y is it taking so long>??

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The SAD part is - that after reading that disturbing mess of a post - I only had one question... Why does she have to be able to lift 25lbs???

 

That was my thought too and it still is unanswered.

 

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grandma, you and I have had sex several times, and it's way too sloppy...I don't have that many towels!. Your idea of oral sex is reciting the Gettysburg Address to my peter!

 

 

 

Sorry, Sleepless....aside from you, the last man I had been with was indeed Abe Lincoln. Did the plastic sheets arrive yet?

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Sorry, Sleepless....aside from you, the last man I had been with was indeed Abe Lincoln. Did the plastic sheets arrive yet?

 

After we have sex, I give you the usual 20 bucks for the cab ride (maybe Bitterman can give you a reduced rate...he's not doing anything anyway). Once you leave, I gargle with baking soda for 15 minutes and scrub my privates with Lestoil!!!

 

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Sleepless, dare I say, you get off rather easily; no pun intended. I, on the other hand, must take a sitz bath of bleach, and soak my teeth in Sani-Flush.

 

At least while soaking your teeth you can go about your chores and come back to them.

 

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I bite because my eyes aren't what they used to be, and it's hard to see something so small, even when it's right in front of my face!

 

Small??? I once choked Linda Lovelace! No, you're a biter grandma, and I'm not having sex with you anymore. You're too rough. I've got claw marks all over my back!

 

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After we have sex, I give you the usual 20 bucks for the cab ride (maybe Bitterman can give you a reduced rate...he's not doing anything anyway). Once you leave, I gargle with baking soda for 15 minutes and scrub my privates with Lestoil!!!

 

:blink: yikes !

 

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